When you left
by Reooo
Summary: Post blue bird Au . Jane never stopped Lisbon from leaving and after two months she has to deal with her new life and a disturbing phone call . Disclaimer : I don't own anything .Complete .
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer : don't own any thing .

She didn't feel like getting out of bed ..she just stared at the rain dropping on her window the dreary weather reflecting her own mood but now that she thought of that she realized that she hadn't seen the sun since she came to DC two months ago .

' Your coffe ..have to go ' he gave her and leaned for a thank you kiss looking pleased with himself then he left and she gave him a good bye shallow smile as an extra bonus ..it was the most she could give these days .

she grimaced at the taste of the coffe .how come he still couldn't fix it right after whole two months . may be she was being a little bitchy ..maybe she just had high standards in her coffe taste and she only had a blond man to blame for that .

…..

' Here these are the files concerning the last concert , boss ' said the younger agent as he put the files on her desk and left . great more paper work . it seemed like she was getting paid to sit so many hours in that chair reading and signing paper that probably no one else would .

'This is boring ' said Jane and she jumped a little and didn't even bother to look in his direction .

' Don't start ' she said eyes in the paper in her hand .

' you don't even have a couch .. it's so cold here ..i need some thing warm to snuggle to 'he said and she blushed then shook her head ' well . I don't believe this is a problem for you ..now go away ' she said .

He sighed ' and why would I do that ?' .

She took a deep breathe eyes closed then opened them again and looked up at him staring in his eyes ' because you are not real ' she said sadly and he looked a little hurt by what she said .

…

' That's silly ..of course I am real ' he smirked the looked away again watching the world move from Lisbon's car passenger seat and she rolled her eyes ..the imaginary Jane was just as annoying as the real one .

she could remember when it had really started actually she always heard his voice in her head when he wasn't there even when he was away for two years and it never stopped when she came to DC so she wasn't really worried but the two days ago the voice became the whole person haunting her every where his usual comments annoying and amusing her ..may be that was what happened when you missed some one so much ..maybe she was just as bad as her father was ..they say these things run in the families .

….

She searched for the remains of yesterday's take out and found some unfinished pizza and he watched her in disgust ' that's what you are going to eat ..no wonder you keep losing weight ..you need some real food 'he said and she frowned ' what I need is some peace and quiet '.

' why did you leave ?' he asked suddenly and her eyes widened in surprise then cleared her throat ' to be with Marcus '.

He chuckled ' explain why you needed to use the bathroom every time he brought the marriage thing up ' .

she narrowed her eyes at him ' you have no right ' she growled .

…

Marcus called ..he would be late again . she lied in bed the turned to his side as he relaxed beside her on his back

' Why did you let me leave ?' she whispered and they stared at each other for a while when he opened his mouth to say some thing she looked away and turned on her back staring at the ceiling ' and now I am talking to my unconscious ..dammit Jane ..i am just as crazy as you are now ..i wonder if it was infectious '.

Her cell phone started ringing and a wave of dread ran through her veins as she picked up .

' Lisbon ..i am sorry if I am calling late but ..' .

'It's alright cho ..is this about ..'she hesitated a little scared of the unknown ..it couldn't be could .

' I think Jane is missing ' she heard him say before a long waited tear fell on her cheek .


	2. Chapter 2

She heard the door close , she took a deep breathe and turned around .

'Teresa , what is this ?' asked Pike looking at her half packed bag .

She started closing her bad finished with the backing the cleared her throat ' going back to Austin , Jane is missing '.

Pike swallowed the information and frowned ' I am sorry to hear that but I am sure they are capable of handling that on their own '.she knew he was probably right .

She looked at him like he had two heads or maybe for someone who didn't know them so well that would be strange but may be they had strange relationship ..it didn't really matter .not to her .

' Actually I think that it could all be one of Jane's plans .. to mislead the FBI and escape again or ..get you back '.he said and she swallowed . it was a possibility ..she believed Jane could do any thing but she wasn't taking any chances and what if he really did that to get her back now ..would that be a bad thing ? .she thought .

She walked past him mumbling ' I am gonna miss the plane ' .

He followed her to the door and stopped her ' well . take care of yourself and good luck ' h said quietly and she pecked his cheek . he was a good man indeed .'good bye Marcus '.

It wasn't a break up but both of them could see that they were on the verge of falling anyway , that the end of their relationship was so close and Pike couldn't even say that Jane was the brimstone that caused the fire because it was all so cold .

' home sweet home ' Jane said cheerfully as he relaxed beside her on the plane .

She shook her head ' I am going to save your ass again .. and Austin isn't home 'she said dryly .

He smiled ' It's home of the heart ' .

She didn't know what to say to that so she decided that a little sleep would be the only way to silence that annoying unconscious of her unless he continued his talk in her dreams then she could just shoot herself in the head .

the elevator's door open and she walks inside everybody looked busy that they didn't even notice her presence until she got closer .

' Lisbon welcome back ' said Abbot .

They didn't waste too much time in greetings and got to the point .

'Cho , why don't you take a break and get coffe with Lisbon and brief her on the way 'said Abbot and Lisbon left with Cho they said nothing until they reached the coffe shop and asked for the drinks .

' What happened Cho and what do you know s far ?' she asked and she could tell that he was stressed .

' Lisbon . we don't have any thing ' he sighed in desperation ' the airstream was in the parking lot clean with no sign of struggle ..no body called demanding ransom ' . this really was bad .

She shook her not believing that they were facing a dead end .there must be something .

' What about cases Cho , didn't Jane make any one mad recently or maybe he knew some thing about a case that wasn't supposed to know about ?' .

Cho shook his head ' no Lisbon there were no current cases actually we were pretty bored in the office for the last three days '.

She took a deep breathe ' Cho , do you think he ran away again ?' she asked and Cho shook his head ' no , every thing was there even a cup of tea in the sink .. don't think so ..but I ..' Cho hesitated .

Lisbon encouraged him to go ' What Cho , what's going on ?'

' Jane wasn't really him self .. I am not sure but .. what if he had done some thing to himself 'he said .

A flash of Jane with cut wrist under the bloody some face , Jane's lifeless body floating in the ocean , Jane jumping over a cliff ..many flashes of horrible things run through her mind but then she pushed them away .. no he wouldn't do that to her .. would he ?.

' No Cho he wouldn't do that .. why do even you think he would ?' she asked and Cho sighed and sipped his coffe

' Jane hadn't been himself after … you left to DC ..i am not saying you are responsible of him because you're not '

She felt a sour taste in her mouth and she swallowed and ha the bad taste sunk in her stomach .. one day they were happy family worked , laughed and cried together ..maybe not exactly happy but a family and suddenly realized that she wasn't the only one that felt abandoned after every body moved on because finally she said that she had moved on herself and Jane was left behind stuck without her because all these it seemed that she was the only one strong enough to lift him ..his best friend ..his first demand .. his … but she left .

' Cho I need to know what happened exactly after I left ?' she asked .

 _13 days after Lisbon left to DC :_

' _Jane got a confession from the maid ' said Cho giving Abbot his usual briefing on the case finishing as he was concerned with more internal office relations problems ._

' _And how is Jane now ..did he do any thing ?' Abbot asked and Cho shook his head ' actually no ..he had been mostly quiet '._

 _Abbot frowned ' you say that as if it was a bad thing '._

 _Cho nodded ' It's always a bad sign when it comes t Jane ' ._

 _Abbot sighed ' Well . I noticed too … keep an eye on him ' he said and Cho nodded ..he didn't really need an order to do that ._

 _When he came back to his desk he saw Jane coming out of one of the rooms with the Victim's husband they shook hands and the man didn't actually look happy but that was understandable ._

 _Two days later Cho saw Jane take some pills in the restroom .. he was worried but he wouldn't ask Jane about it ..he wouldn't bother ._

' I don't understand Cho , what's connection ?' she asked in confusion .

' The victim's husband was a psychiatric ..it might be all a coincidence but could be some thing more 'said Cho .

Cho left to visit the restroom then she heard Jane take the seat Cho just left and looked her in the eyes and smiled ' There are no things such as coincidences '.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer : don't own any thing .

' sir we need to talk to him , he might know some thing ' Cho said and Abbot sighed heavily .

' I don't really understand .. you saw Jane take a pill and you think this had a relation to our latest case victim's husband the psychiatric .. why ?' .

Lisbon decided to jump in and back Cho up ' because Jane hated doctors specially psychiatrics but if he wanted some thing badly then he would use every thing he could to get it even blackmail '.she said bitterly .

Abbot nodded a little taken back a little at her outburst ' Well. you went to see him Cho ?'

Cho nodded ' he refused to even let me into the house claiming that he barely even remembered Jane but some how I got the feeling that he was lying ..and that's why we need your help '.

Abbot shook his head ' but this is the problem guys , I can't help you .. we didn't find any bottles and nothing to relate the doctor to the prescription so we cant talk to him or bring him here '.

Lisbon sighed a little disappointed until she heard Jane's familiar voice whisper in her ears like a devil dragging her to the sin way and her eyes widened ' If we can't talk to him officially then I think I should maybe pay him a visit myself 'she said repeating the words in her head .

They both looked at her silently for a moment the Cho spoke first ' But I told you he wouldn't talk to me ..why would he talk to you ?'

She smiled ' because he won't be speaking to FBI agent Lisbon , he would be talking to a very disturbed Teresa Lisbon with need for psychiatric help .

They both looked at each other and nodded in agreement .. she would go undercover .

….

She was getting dressed , bought some expensive blouse and a short skirt that Jane advised of and she decided that a rich business women with mental illness looked the most appealing and for a brief second as she watched herself in the mirror wondered what would Jane say if he saw her like that and maybe if she had wore some thing like that in the CBI days he wouldn't have been able to resist her all these years .

Maybe she could redeem that when they find him and bring him back safe .god how she hoped it would come true .

' Miss Lisbon .. what brings you here today .. you are in a safe place here and every thing you say is a secret that no body would ever know ?' said Robinson as he opened his notebook ready to make notes of his new patients speech .

She sighed trying to relax a little on the comfortable couch eyeing the fancy office with real nervousness although it really helped with the roe she was acting there .

' I ..I have not been sleeping well ' she said not knowing what else to say ..she had a whole list of things to tell prepared but it was like they were erased some how ..it had been a while since she went undercover and it's not like Jane ever praised her acting skills .

' Look miss Lisbon .. you came here because you need help so you need to be honest with me or this would all be useless .. talk to me '.Said Robinson strongly that it really got to her .he was a good doctor .

She heard a sigh and looked beside her to find Jane looking her in the eyes calmly ' You are a bad liar my dear ..a half truth is the easiest kind of lie ' he said and she looked back to Robinson who was watching her carefully and cleared her throat .

' I have been seeing hallucinations ' she said softly .

' Hallucination ?' the doctor frowned and she nodded ' Yes , I see some some one who's not really there …'

He stopped her ' I know what hallucination is .. but who is that some one ?..that's what I need to know '.

' A friend ' she said .

' You lost him ' said the doctor and she nodded ' missed him ' and she nodded again getting emotional more than she was supposed to .wished she had Jane's biofeedback trick .

' It's a strange feeling actually more than just missing some one ..it some times felt like missing a part of your soul ..he was like a symphony or a story that was never finished ' She said looking into Janes eyes and was so lost in her own thoughts that it took her a moment to sober and feel Steve's hand on her knees in what was supposed to be a kind gesture which definitely wasn't and at that moment she knew .

' Have you lost some one too doctor ?' she said her voice regaining strength .

He was a little taken back by her question and shifted uncomfortably in his seat ' yes ..my wife ..but we are here to talk about you '.

She saw through his attempt to change the subject and ignored it ' It's strange you hadn't even lost her a couple of months ago and you are already hitting on other women .. a patient of yours actually .. Is that what you were talking to Patrick Jane about ?' she asked and he shook his head .

'who the hell are you ?' he asked angry and she smiled ' I actually thought that it would be about some prescription for money corruption thing but that ..'.

He sighed ' what the hell do you want ?' .

' I want to know what did you do to Patrick Jane ' she said and he grimaced ' I already told the FBI agent I don't know any thing about it '.

She nodded ' Alright , but I need you to tell me every thing or you will have a big trouble ..i will dig up every dirty secret you have and destroy your life unless you tell me the truth '.

He nodded deciding that maybe clearing himself out of this whole Jane thing would be the only way to be left alone ' Fine , Patrick Jane came to me after they caught my wife's killer and confronted me with the fact that he knew about my sexual relations with my patients '.

She nodded .of course he knew . ' That must have scared you so much '.

He nodded ' Yes , he could destroy my life if he wanted to ..career and family .. that's why I did every thing he asked .. I gave him the prescriptions he needed for the sleeping bills and lithium .. some other anti depressions '.

' You are a doctor .. how did he seem to you ?' she asked dreading the answer .

He sighed ' He looked bad , had all signs of depression , disturbed .. seemed to lose weight .. obsessing … believe me I hadn't seen him after I gave him what he wanted actually I was glad to see the back of him .

They were back to square one again .


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer : don't won any thing .. so sorry for the delayed update but I suffering from some lack of muse problems and couldn't really write anything but hope things get better now :) .**

Wiley was a little excited today about a his new GPS ..he kept talking about how amazing the new device benefits were , Lisbon was listening trying to smile and fake enthusiasm but the truth was that no thing could get her to smile again after Jane's disappearance .

It had been two weeks since he had gone missing , she made a conference and talked about him to personalize him and she almost broke down in process but it went well as Abbot told her if she wanted people's sympathy she got it .

But the problem was that they still got nothing but few dead ends , she went around some of the places Jane used to hang up into showed his picture to people and talked to them although missing persons already confirmed that they had done that as part of their investigation but she was hanging to a few fading threads of hope .

This morning Marcus called her and asked her to come back and they had a little fight about her priorities and his rights as the first man in her life .

She ended the call by ' I can't do this any more ' then she came to work exhausted from the lack of sleep and started working again through Jane's latest cases but as Cho said before they were more dead ends .

After work she started going around the places Jane spent his time or at least the places she and the team knew of and headed to a tavern in a secluded place that Wylie said that Jane had taken him to one night .

'Hi this agent Lisbon with the FBI .. do you know this man ..his name is Patrick Jane ..he has missing for two weeks '.

The bartender was a pretty brunette who gasped at the sight of the picture ' um .. he came here a few times I guess '. she said and Lisbon frowned ..some thing was off about that woman's behavior .

' What's your name madam ?' Lisbon asked and the woman answered ' Amber '.

' When he came here did he talk to any body ?' Lisbon asked and the woman shook her head ' No 'she answered

The woman looked nervous her hands were shaking and Lisbon could see she was just waiting for her to leave to release a breathe she is holding .

' I think we should go now Lisbon ' the imaginary Jane said from behind her .

Lisbon gave her her card and asked her to call in case she remembered any thing helpful and as she just got into her car she saw a trunk parking in front of the tavern where two hulks came out of and went into the bar .

She took the trunk's plate number and went back to the office .

She and Cho gathered around Wiley while he did his search on the trunk's owner , his name was Mark Johnson .. married to Amber Johnson the tavern owner and had a long list of arrests and spent two years in prison for drugs and got out 5years ago .

Abbot came in ' Do you think that Jane could have got involved with those people? '

Cho sighed ' Well. Jane attracts trouble like magnet '.

Lisbon nodded ' That woman was hiding some thing , I know it ..it could be our last hope '.

Abbot nodded ' keep the Johnson's under survelliance but watch from afar ' .

The team nodded nodded ' got it , boss '.

Lisbon was assigned to watch the woman and Cho and wiley after the husband who just basically spent all his day hanging around stripper clubs .

On the other hand the woman was the one in responsible of the house , took care of her there children and worked all day in the tavern .

Lisbon sighed as she watched her the next day in the market from the other side of the road I her car .. she was getting frustrated and fear was taking over her completely .. She didn't know how would she live if she lost him ?

' You should have thought of that before you left ' said the voice beside her .

' Why are torturing me like that ..you are not really here accept that and go away ' she cried .

' I love you ' Said Jane and her tears fell ' God , stop .. I love you too '.

They stared at each other for a long time before she heard a knock on the glass window and here it was herself ' 'Why are you following me ?' asked an angry Amber Johnson .

…..

After a lot of convincing Lisbon managed to take Amber for coffe I the nearest coffe shop to their location , Amber sat there looking around and biting her nails .

' Amber you need to talk to me ' said Lisbon softly not wanting to scare the woman away .

' I told you I don't know any thing , I am not even supposed to be talking to you ' said Amber and Lisbon shook her head ' No , I can tell you 're lying ..if you know any thing about Jan it's best for you to speak to me '.

Amber sighed ' It's dangerous , I can get hurt '.

' FBI will protect you , just tell me .please ' Lisbon begged her and the woman nodded .

' I had problems with my husband .. he hit me a lot , Patrick was really friendly and kind when he saw my bruised face he wouldn't let it go ..i told him it was dangerous to mess with my husband '.

It wasn't strange really , Jane was a gentle man that always had the urge to help damsels in distress .

' What did your husband do to Jane ?' Lisbon asked in fear .. and for a moment she didn't even want to know .

Amber cleared her throat then looked around ' I don't know one night he told me he would take care of the matter and that he would guarantee the safety of me and my children .. and I never saw him again after that day , I called him and he never answered so I thought he was scared and changed his mind then I saw the missing persons poster and I was so scared so I didn't say any thing and I don't really know what happened to him '.

Dammit Jane , what did you get yourself into ? she thought .

Lisbon swallowed a sour taste in her mouth ' We will protect you , I will keep an eye on your husband and if any thing happened call me , thank you for telling me '.

And it occurred to Lisbon that some times not knowing meant hope but then again she now not knowing wasn't even a choice and if there was a 1 % of hope that Jane was alive she would hold to that .

 **Thank you for reading and sorry for any mistakes .**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclamier : don't own any thing .**

 **sorry for any mistakes I wrote this in a rush ..hope you like it .**

Lisbon was in the office picking up some of her stuff before going home to get some sleep since she hadn't had that for a while and it wasn't like she would really get any but Abbot insisted she got some rest , she picked up and a very nervous Amber called her name frantically ' Thank god , I think I might know where they kept Patrick ..i need to see you '.

Lisbon couldn't breathe ' What , How ? where are you ?'

she gave Lisbon her location ' But you need to come alone , just you '. said Amber and Lisbon frowned 'why ? we will need the pack up '.

'No , if my information turn out to be false and you bring all of those cops , he would have known I told you and he will kill me , come alone or don't come at all and forget about Patrick Jane ' said Amber .

Lisbon sighed and looked up there was no one around , Cho was following the husband and Wiley was probably hanging out in the technical department ..it wasn't like she was gonna let this chance go away , they could find him ..she could .

Lisbon stopped the car in the address she gave her , it was a few miles away from the lavender on the side of an empty road ..she saw Amber standing beside some sign waiting for her .

' what do you know Amber ?' Lisbon asked and Amber looked around to make sure Lisbon kept her word and was on her own .

' I heard my husband talking on the phone to one of his friends Zac and they were talking about checking on some one in the ware house ..it's like an old storage Zac owned ..i thought it could be where they are keeping him 'she said as they walked into the woods .

' That's very brave of you ' said Lisbon as they walked but the more they walked into the woods she couldn't see any figure of any building then she stopped and turned around ' Are you sure ..' the words stopped in her throat when she was Amber pointing a small gun at her .

'Amber , what are you doing ?' Lisbon breathed and Amber shook her head slowly grimacing ' I am so sorry '.

' Amber , your husband will get what he deserve .. you don't need to protect him '.

Amber giggled ' I can take care of my husband .. he is probably in some bar now distracting your cop friends giving them a nice show .. give me your gun agent '.

' Why ?' Lisbon asked hard her anger showing .. she had her doubts but still didn't see this coming .

Amber sighed as she took Lisbon's gun ' I am not a bad person Agent , Patrick was truly nice and I really liked him ..it was rare to find some one who wanted to help you wanting nothing back .. I told you the truth he wanted to help me ..he said he was going to get my husband in Jail for drug dealing .. but the problem was that I was the one selling drugs not That Asshole ..he was going to ruin every thing '.

' He was trying to help you .. you tricked him to go after your husband but then he found out about the drugs so you were in a tight corner ' said Lisbon as realization dawned on her .

Amber nodded ' so you see my predicament , I called him asking for help and brought him here ..it's quiet '.

Lisbon wanted to throw up ..did she really want to know how that sob story ended ..she got the feeling it didn't end good for Jane but she was desperate .

' What did you do to him ? ' Lisbon asked voice low , it was the only thing she cared about now and if she had only a few moments to live then she demanded the answer as her death wish .

' Don't be afraid , you will know so soon .. now walk ' ordered Amber .

They walked for about more ten minutes until they made it to an old wooden bridge above a flowing small river .

They stopped and the two women stared at each other for a while until Amber broke the silence ' We came here .. he didn't say any thing actually for a moment I saw peace in his eyes ..one I hadn't seen all the time he came to the tavern and got drunk '.

Oh god please , she wanted to cover her ears or to run until she passed out ..any where but here she couldn't hear it ..accept it .

' I shot him in the head on that bridge and he fell in the river .. makes it harder to find the body ..i guess ' said Amber and as crazy as that was she sounded a little sad but Lisbon wasn't think about that ..she wasn't actually thinking about any thing .her mind went on stray ..she had finally got her answer but it wasn't the one she was hoping for ..she couldn't see or feel any thing .

Amber sighed ' I am sorry but I need to kill you too , I knew once you came to me you won't stop unless you found him '.

She raised her hand to shoot when fire went through her hand and she screamed in pain ' FBI , dropp your weapon ' said Cho then appeared a dazzled Wiley behind him and ran to Lisbon who didn't even seem to notice their presence ' Thank god I found the note you left on my desk .. isn't that new GPS the coolest thing ever ' he said proud of himself and his beloved device relieved that they made it on time .

After Cho cuffed Amber and told her her rights he looked at Lisbon who finally looked back to him ' Are you alright ?'

She shook her head ' I need a cup of tea '.

 **Thank you for reading , hope I will be able to update the next chapter soon .**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer : don't own anything .**

 **I felt bad for the last cliff hanger so I wrote this chapter faster ..hope you like it .**

Lisbon went home and took off her clothes and let the hot shower water wake her up , yes because that was all a nightmare to her and she really needed to wake up .

She took a seat at her kitchen table and started sipping her tea in silence , she felt like a child lost and far away from home scared and it dawned on her that she felt like she had no home now not DC not even Chicago she had abandoned all of those a long time and then she remembered what her imaginary Jane said on the plane ' the home of the heart ' .. and now she was homeless .. she looked around , she hadn't seen her imaginary Jane for days now and she wondered what happened and where was he when she needed him the most .

but then a thought came up to her mind and she stared at Jane's cup of tea for a long time , his CBI cup the one she spent two years in fixing and realized that the cup didn't leak any liquid ..it was as good as new ..maybe a little distorted but definitely working and realized that just like this cup is still holding it's pieces together and like she was still breathing that Jane must be still alive too .

' Lisbon , I can't imagine what you're going through and we are all crushed but ..' Abbot sighed ..he didn't know what to tell to the woman ..he knew how was it like to lost a friend but never a love and he hoped he never really know .

' Sir you don't understand ..they hadn't found a body yet ..i can feel it ' she plead and Cho joined them and looked to Abbot ..they both didn't know what to say .

She felt a little betrayed ..they were her friends and Jane's ..how could they give up and see her as a crazy woman .

'Fine you keep searching .. but I have my own search to do ' she yelled in anger and was about to leave when Cho grabbed her arm ' I will help you ' he said and she nodded gratefully .

…

' Wiley we need the map of the area , if there are an institutions or inhabitants along the river before the water fall ' said Cho and Wiley instantly got o with the work while Lisbon held her cross ' Come on , please Jane '.

After a few more minutes Wiley turned around not exactly cheerful ' It's a dead area sort of ..there are two places an old abandoned factory and a farm owned by Christopher warn '.

Lisbon and Cho looked at each other hopefully ' We need to visit that farm 'said Cho .

….

It was next morning already and Cho insisted to drive and Lisbon let him ..it was probably a good idea she was a little enthusiastic and the last thing they needed was to slide down a muddy road .

' Lisbon in case we didn't find him ..i need you to prepare yourself ..you know the chances ' said Cho worried about his ex-boss and friend .

She exhaled a watery breathe 'I am not delusional , i know that this could all be in vain but there might be a chance Cho even if it is so small ..we can't ignore it '.

He nodded ' You're right ' then there was a moment of silence .

' I still can't believe that woman Amber managed to deceive Jane ' she muttered under her breathe .

Cho cleared his throat ' Jane wasn't the same ..still smart and trick but he sort of lost his mojo or maybe he knew ' .

Lisbon stared at the window again thinking about Cho's words ..the only thing worse than Jane not knowing that he was being tricked was knowing that he was being led to his death and going along with it .. it was horrifying .

The stopped in front of the wooden gates of the farm from out side and before long the noticed a hidden camera watching them and heard bell ringing and a lot of noise ' seems like the welcome part is about to start ' said Lisbon .

Then a few Jeeps stopped in front of them and number of men in farm clothes approached them with shotguns and they both drawn their weapons on instinct .

' Who are you and what are you doing here ?' asked the man of charge and Cho started explaining the situation ' We are the FBI ..we are here to ask a few questions that's all '.

The man shook his head ' No , this s a private land and we did nothing ..we have nothing for you here and we want no trouble ..go away '.

Lisbon noticed their lack of trust in law enforcement but she wasn't here to leave or wait for a warrant so she dropped her gun and Cho glared at her in warning .

' Sir please , out friend is missing .. you are my last hope ..he was shot and thrown in the river but is there a chance that y.. ' she wasn't sure what to say and the men started looking to each other then back to her a little loosen now ' Describe your friend ?'

' He is tall blond with blue eyes …' the man cut he off and nodded ' Is your friend's name Paddy ?' .

Her eyes widened ' yes Patrick Jane ..Paddy Jane ' .

The man sighed and his face softened a little ' then I believe we have who you are looking for agents ' and dropped his gun .

 **I will try to update as soon as I can , sorry for an mistakes .**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer : I don't own anything .**

Every body inside the farm was eyeing her .. some with worry and others with excitement as she followed the man in charge Mr. Warn who was a man in his sixties but had the soul of a hard worker , they refused to let Cho in. just her and without her weapon . of course Cho didn't agree but to his dismay she did because despite the risk , it was that or they would have had to wait for a warrant and that was some thing she couldn't bear .

' What happened Mr. Warn and if you found him why didn't you call authorities ?' Lisbon asked as they walked and he grimaced ' No offence agent but we don't believe in law enforcement In our little community here .. The kids found him were they used to play by the river when they said they found a man ..he was lucky his body got stuck in a bunch of dead branches ..we brought him here he was alive .. the farm medical facility checked him ..the bullet just scratched the side of his skull they treated him and he hadn't woken up until four days ago '.

Lisbon listened to all of this in shock and how close had she got to lose him forever ..how lucky they were to get alive out of some thing like that .. but she wondered if he had woken up for four days ago why hadn't he called them ..came back ? then another thought intrigued her ..she had stopped seeing her imaginary Jane about the same time ..was that a coincidence ?.. but then she had more important things to think about now .

' Why didn't he try contact us sir ..did you not allow him ?' she asked a little angry .

The man shook his head ' Not at all .. he just was very confused which the doctor said was completely normal from shock and the injury ..he doesn't have a clear memory ..the first two days he said no thing then he said that he could remember his name was Paddy and said some thing about a man named Thomas Mcallister but we didn't try to pressure him '.

Lisbon gasped ..had he forgotten every thing again like the time he almost drowned but again he still remembered red John ..did he remember her ? .

They reached the stables and he stopped ' You will find him here .. he could barely walk a day and the other the doctor threatened to lock him in his room if he tried to leave bed again '.

That made Lisbon smile .. Jane would never change whatever happened to him ' He had always been a bad patient '.

The man smiled too ' Then they just gave up and it seemed like he liked horses .. some people here think he has powers since they had seen him taking to a horse '.

Lisbon had to bite her lips to not laugh ' And you don't believe in that Mr warn '.

He sighed ' No agent ..i don't believe in higher powers but I believe Paddy is a very charming young man '.

He said he had things to do and let her to go see Jane alone , she was nervous and a little scared when she went inside and she felt a warmness she hadn't felt in months ..it was Jane feed feeding a clean brown horse , he looked thinner and had a bandage wrapped up around his head and was dressed in a simple blue shirt and pair of Jeans a little big for his size ..he seemed happy and carefree until he turned around and saw her .

His smile fell and his eyes darkened slowly and painfully ' Lisbon ' he whispered after a while all she did was staring ..she had missed him so much .

' you're back ' he said and she nodded tears filling her eyes as she walked towards him .

' I remember ' he said again his voice getting more desperate his eyes misty when she had reached him and wrapped her arms around his neck shoulder in a tight embrace ..her tears falling as she felt his arms tighten around her waist .

They were interrupted by Mr. Warn who cleared his throat a little embarrassed and guilty for interrupting an intimate moment , he cleared his throat ' sorry ,but more cops had came ..'.

They released each other and Lisbon held Jane's hand tightly afraid that she would lose him again ' come on Jane let's go home '.

Turns out Cho had summoned the whole gang , Abbot was there so is Wiley and a punch of other agents that were there for pack up ..they hadn't all calmed down until they saw Lisbon coming back holding Jane's hand .

They welcomed Jane back and Jane thanked Mr . Warn for the saving his life and for their hospitality .

They rode in the back of one of cars still holding hands ' They are good people '.said Jane and Lisbon smiled ' they saved your life .. I think we owe them forever now '.

To Jane's dismay they made him go to the hospital for check up and once the doctor said he was fine just needed to change the bandage every two days ..he was glad to be taken back home .

They dropped Jane at the Airstream when Abbot told him to rest then come to the office the next day to know his story for the investigation .

He looked at his surroundings ..it was like he never left except that things got a little dusty but it felt good to be home .

He lied down on his bed and started thinking about the events of the last days .

He had to admit that he truly was deceived by Amber .. but when he knew and saw that gun In her hand he felt relived ..he had wanted to end this all some time ago but then he still thought about Lisbon ..she would feel guilty for leaving him alone and she would never get over it and he knew what it was like to live with guilt and he didn't want that for her so he had to live with the pain of being away from her knowing she was happy with another man .

But Amber was about to free him from all of that and he was grateful ..but lucky bastard he was ..she was a lousy shot .

When he woke up a few days ago in the Warn's farm he didn't remember every thing ..he remembered his family until the moment he found their bodies but after that snapshots in time .. one memory of him in a psychiatric ward and another strangling his families killer , spending his time on some beach on an island ..others that weren't complete like he was having Chocolate sundae on the roof of a building but holding another spoon waiting for some one else to share his desert with .

another one he was in an modern cold building on his couch staring at some one's empty desk but that one never come ..the only thing he could feel from those memories was that he was unhappy man …so some how he didn't want to remember and didn't fight for the memories to come and focused on the peace he felt on the farm and with the horses .. until he saw Lisbon this morning and it the missing pieces of his memory came back .

He didn't know how to feel now , it brought him back so much joy to see her again and be with her after lonely miserable cold months without her love but it also brought back the pain of watching her leave ..loving her hopelessly and missing her terribly and knowing that now it would start allover again because she was bound to go back to her new life .. it was all unsettling and scary ..his life was messed up .

Lisbon came back home not knowing what the hell she was supposed to do now that he was back , she wanted to hug him ..kiss him and pour her heart secrets to him but at the same time she didn't know how would she do all of that .

Deciding not to think any more .. it was her damned mind that put her in that situation in the first place ..this time she was going to just follow her heart .

So with that final thought she went to take a shower and change ..she looked terrible today ..the last days hell appearing in her messy hair and the dark circles under her eyes .. that's what make up is made for ..she thought ..she was going to see Jane .


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer : don't own any thing .**

She stopped in front of Jane's Airstream and her heart dropped when she saw no light ..was he asleep ? .. did some thing happen ?.. she moved all around and peaked through the glass windows but unfortunately he wasn't there .. Dammit Jane .lucky her . she thought , she opened her cell phone to call him when she remembered that they had had his phone in an evidence bag since his disappearance .. she couldn't contact him .

so she went back to her car with a huff of despair but a part of her felt a little relieved thinking that maybe it was for the best .. she wasn't even sure what she was going to say and just acted on impulse and she was still afraid of his reaction .. so she went back home losing the courage she had gathered to even go in the first place . just leave it to Jane to wander at midnight after a near death trauma ..she just hoped he was fine , she went into bed hoping she would be a little more rested herself and ready to talk to him when she see him the next day in the office .

….

The next day when she arrived at work the team was busy with the paper work the air full of excitement every body in a good mood after having Jane back ,and there he was himself lying on his beloved couch reading one of his Shakespearean novels .

' hello Lisbon ' he said as he noticed her standing there watching him and she startled then blushed at being caught staring ' Hi Jane ' ..it was so good to see him back again like old days ..she had missed him so much .

She took a seat at her desk and turned around to face him ' I came to see you yesterday but you weren't there ' she said and he raised his eyebrows a little surprised , he straightened himself to face her and smiled ' I was hungry so I went to buy some tacos ' ..' and a few bottles of beer and scotch ' he omitted that part for her peace of mind .

' Was there some thing you wanted ?' he asked and she hesitated a little ' To check on you and catch up I guess ..we need to talk '.

Interesting .Jane thought . he felt a mix of excitement and fear ..he missed her but didn't think he could bear it to hear the details of her happy life or to receive a wedding invitation so soon .. but it's not like he had any choice .

Their talk was interrupted by Wiley ' Hey Lisbon ..Jane , we decided to have drinks together tonight to celebrate Jane's return ' he said then turned to Lisbon ' and so we can catch up before you go back to DC ' he smiled in enthusiasm and didn't notice how they both flinched at the mention of DC .

Lisbon decided not to think about DC now , even if nothing happened that night and she went back they at least would be able to say . we had today .

…..

' He did what ?' Lisbon gaped at Cho and the others couldn't just stop laughing .

' Yes , he robbed the casino then went and used their own money for the poker game just because he couldn't wait for Abbot to get him the FBI cash 'said Cho and Wiley interrupted ' And he made me sing I feel good on the stage in front of every body , I thought I was distracting them but turns out it was just for his own amusement ' said Wiley a little irritated and she couldn't help but laugh at the image .

Abbot shook his head ' Come on Wiley , at least those people at the casino didn't know you but unfortunately that wasn't the case when he showed up drunk at the departments annual meeting and started making fun of the director ' .

Lisbon was a little upset knowing how he went back to his old ways when he didn't care about any thing or any one not even himself playing games and keeping every one at distance so she just gulped another shot and it felt good .

Jane shook his head ' come on guys , you won't impress Lisbon like that ..i had done a lot worse tricks when we were back at the CBI .. she know s me far too much to be surprised any more ' he said and they had more shots until Wiley suddenly felt sick went to throw up in the restroom when he came back Cho decided that it was enough and it was time to take him home . the only sober guy on the table .

' Yeah , it's late any way ..Lena would be worried ' said Abbot as he excused himself and only Jane and Lisbon were left .

Jane ordered for another shot ' So , when are you going back to DC ?' Jane asked . he had always been a masochist .

She sighed a little exhausted and intoxicated ' I hadn't decided yet '.

Jane breathed ' I had dreamt of you , weird dreams where you would just keep telling me to go away .. it's not that I liked your new office any way , it had no couch ..it was all cold ' he said not knowing why he was saying that but he was a little drunk himself and didn't care about any thing at the moment .

She blinked her mid fuzzy , she had a feeling that her sudden hallucination start and stop wasn't a coincidence .. could that be real .. that some how Jane's soul found her to help her find him . it didn't make sense really and she wasn't about to say that theory aloud any time soon any way so she smiled instead ' It was cold , you wouldn't have liked it any way '.

' Seems like you don't like it wither , Lisbon ' he said and she cursed herself for being so obvious was miserable written on her forehead .no it was just Jane thing .

' So you're doing this for Marcus , I hope he knows how lucky he is . you are so amazing '. Jane said miserably and she closed her eyes .. every thing hurt ..why did their their love have to be so painful and cruel ?.

She held his hand and shivered when he rubbed her knuckles with his thumb ' I don't think so Jane . I am not as good as you think ' she said and really meant it , she didn't see herself as a very good woman ..she was sleeping with a man and thinking of another , she couldn't even answer him after he proposed and was using him selfishly for company ..settling .that was what she had done ..because she just couldn't get what she truly wanted .

Jane shook his head ' No , for years you were all that kept me going on . you saved me Teresa ' he said and her heart beats quickened ' Jane that was Red John not me , he kept you going ' it was the truth as she knew it ..she was never enough for him .

He gasped ' How could you think that , he was my revenge my motive .. but you were responsible for every smile .. you made me feel welcomed and gave me life . love .. without you I would be homeless Lisbon '.

Tears gathered in her eyes as she listened ' but you never said any thing , why ?'

He had tears in his eyes as well . drink shattering all of his walls and worries ' Because he was there , and I ruin every thing I touch , you are so precious I just wanted to lock you in a glass box but that's not the way things work and you found love , you were happy , my love never did any body any good Lisbon ' his sentences were incoherent and he was on the verge of tears .

' I couldn't imagine walking up knowing I won't see you but you left and these were from the worst days in my life , The truth is '.. he stopped to breathe looking into her hopeful eyes ' I love you ' he said and for a moment she felt like they were alone the two of them and didn't hear the loud club's music or the dancing crowd noise .

' good , because I feel the same way ' she said her tears falling when Jane just slided to the seat next to hers and held her face and leant in for a kiss .soft .long .dazing one .

The kiss was over but she was still dizzy from the alcohol and tingling feeling in her toes .. she couldn't think of any thing else but Jane's soft hold of her hand and the longing to grab him and kiss him again .

It was all blur after that and she didn't know how they ended up at Jane's Airstream and the moment Jane's lips met hers again she didn't really care .


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer : don't own any thing .**

 **Sorry there won't be an M rating scene .i don't write those , I will leave it to your imagination .**

She opened her eyes slowly adjusting to the light feeling more warm and comfortable than she had in a long time though her mouth was dry and her head ached a little , her eyes widened as she saw the reason of her coziness . the soft chest of Patrick Jane , and she remembered every thing that happened the night before .

They were celebrating Jane come back safely and they ended up drinking a lot and Jane pouring his heart secrets to her and of course it was her opportunity to say every thing she had been keeping inside for years then they kissed a lot and ended up in Jane's place and there was no talk after , just clothes off and moans . it was quite frantic both finally taking what they had wanted and been denied for a long time .

Her smile widened with pleasure as the memories came back as she admired his face , she ran a hand through his hair and it was as soft as she had imagined , she almost giggled in pleasure but his husky voice stopped her and she blushed at being caught ' Hope it was worth the wait ' he said .

She cleared her throat ' Well . you have a nice hair ' _you have the hair of a greek god . a shining hallo . you beautiful devilish bastard ._ she didn't say those things but his knowing smirk told her she needn't say anything to boost his ego even more .

He turned to his side to face her a lazy smile on his face ' good morning ' .

She blushed and couldn't believe that a morning greeting quote could do this to her .

' so we did it ' she said softly and he raised his eye brows smirking ' oh that , yes . do you regret it ?' he asked and for a moment she saw fear in his beautiful eyes .

She shook her head . maybe the only thing she regretted was them being drunk . ' No ' .

She hesitated a little ' Did you mean your words last night ?' .

He smiled his eyes looking into hers with a new gleam ' Yes , I meant every word '.

She smiled back ' good , because I feel the same way ' .

he almost giggled but then his smile fell ' what about Pike ?' he asked and she flinched . Oh she had forgot about Pike .

' Oh god , I cheated on him ' she started panicing covering her self well with the white sheets guilt seeping through her ,had saint Teresa just forgot about her boyfriend and slept with another guy , she was going to burn in hell .she thought .

He held her arm and forced her to look at him ' relax , a lot of wrongs happened Teresa , since the day I let you go and now it's time to make things right gain . only you can do that now . it's what we owe to ourselves and Pike ' .

She nodded and relaxed a little . he was right , Leaving was wrong and starting a relation ship with Pike was wrong and unfair to the three of them and he deserved more . it was inevitable '.

' I will call him , tell him I am not going back ' she said a little sad at the thought of breaking his heart but she had already done that to Jane .

' You do that , but first you need coffe and I need a cup of tea ' he said as he leant and kissed her softly then got up and went to get dressed , since he didn't have any coffe so he had to make a quick trip to the nearest cofe shop .

' And some aspirin too ' she called after him and she headed for a shower .

 **sorry for the short chapter but didn't have the time for longer one , sorry for any mistakes .**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer : don't own anything .**

 **So here is the last chapter , thank you for all reviews , guest reviews ,follows and Favs and hope u like it .**

Lisbon took a cap home because her car was still in the FBI parking lot , she was over the moon the morning after glow in her eyes and on her every breathe .

And she decided that it wasn't just every thing she had wanted for the last ten years but it was so much more and she wanted to wake up next to Jane for the rest of her life ..and die in his arms hopefully when they are so old and wrinkled .

she opened her door and to her surprise .. there was some on lying on her couch not just some one but Marcus Pike and it was like some one pinched her and fell back into reality ..what in hell was he doing there ?.

He stood up smiling as he saw her but she was just stunned until he came closer to kiss her but she took a step back , he looked hurt and swallowed the guilt .. it would have been so much easier on the phone .

' What are you doing here Marcus ?' she asked .

' I went to the FBI first but they said that you all had drinks together last night but you haven't been seen this morning or Jane , you haven't been answering my calls so I came here and I know where you keep your spare key ' he said a little upset and she sighed as they stared at each other for a moment .she needed to collect her ideas and courage .

' I was going to call you . we need to talk ' she said and he nodded ' that's why I came here Teresa ,I felt bad about our fight ..i have been selfish and jealous and he is your friend .i understand that ..now can we just '.

she shook her head before he got to finish ' No we can't ' and she took his hand in hers ' I never meant to hurt you but you met me in a very critical period in my life .. i wanted so many things but I couldn't have them and you came and offered me every thing I have wanted .. I still want those things but I realized ..' she couldn't go on she felt so damn terrible .

' You just don't want them with me ..or should I say you want them with Jane ?' he asked harshly and she knew she deserved it .

' You are a great man Marcus and will make some woman very happy but you are not right for me ' she said and he snorted ' I just don't understand if you loved each other all along then why didn't you just get together ?'

She swallowed ' We were scared , it was difficult and complicated ..Jane is a very complicated man .. I really wanted you to be the right man for me , I am so sorry ' .

' Marcus smiled ' but you love him anyway , I understand . you are such a wonderful woman and I wanted you so hard that I couldn't see that even a beautiful rose will die in the wrong soil '.

She looked away , she had broken his heart and it was all in his eyes ' I shouldn't have probably came here .stupid decision ' he sighed getting uncomfortable himself .

Tears prickled her eyes 'it's alright , I am sorry '.

He nodded and took his jacket and walked towards the door ' I will send you your stuff ..It was good to see you , good bye Teresa '.

She nodded and smiled a watery smile ' Good bye Marcus '.

And suddenly she felt so much lighter .

…

She went to the FBI , Jane was on the couch a distant look in his eyes and didn't see her until she got closer and sat beside him and his face lit up partly ' Oh , hi '. he said and she smiled ' what's wrong ?' she could tell some thing was bothering him ..was that fear she saw in his eyes ? .

' The guys said Pike was here asking for you ? so I was just wondering ' he shook his head and took a deep breathe .

' you thought that I would change my mind if I saw him and let him carry me back to DC ' she said and he nodded 'You are an idiot ' she said a little annoyed and he cheered up immediately and grinned ' am I now ?'.

She smiled ' yes , but I am not here for you , I am here to talk to Abbot '.

She left him and entered Abbot's office ' Lisbon , sit down '.

' You wanted to talk to me ?' asked Lisbon and he nodded .

' Jane gave me an idea that you might come back to Austin , Is that true ?' he asked and she rolled her eyes .of course he did .he would be punished for that .later .

' That's true ' that was all she managed to say without blushing .damn ..they must all know by now .

' Let's not beat around the bush here Lisbon , your place in the team is waiting for you .Jane made it clear that he wasn't going to work efficiently with any body else and after Fisher had transferred to Florida we are short handed though a new agent is coming for an interview later , hopefully a pleasant addition to the team 'he stopped watching her reaction .

she smiled .she already knew this but was a little proud to ask for the job back and of course Jane knew that . she didn't know if she wanted to kiss or kill him .

' I would love to be back here Sir and join the team again ' she said and he smiled and shook her hand ' Then welcome back agent Lisbon , I will see it through with DC branch '.

'Thank you boss ' she said before leaving the office .

….

She put the last touches on the Chocolate and cream sundae when the door bell rang , she hurried and opened the door .

Jane gave her a thorough look from toe to head delighted by the dress she wore , it was the sleeveless coral dress she wore at the blue bird before she left him because of his stupidity ..he remembered the plans he had for that dress. and suddenly the play was in motion again .

He walked past her and saw the clean living room with two spoons in a deliciously looking sundae on the coffe table and turned around with a wicked smile on his face ' I can see you have been expecting me ' .

she snorted with a slight blush ' you are not that unpredictable '.

He looked a little offended ' I am unpredictable ' he took her hand and pulled her closer ' I think you just know me too well now '.

' I like to believe so ' she said with a smile .

He leant to kiss her but she turned her face so he ended up kissing her cheek then trailing kisses along her neck ' No ' she said weakly ' we need to talk first .. set some rules '.

He pulled away and laughed ' Oh rules time with Teresa ' .

She blushed ' No public affection .at least inside the FBI ' and he pulled her close again caressing her arms ' no embarrassing me in front of the team or lying to me or I will punch you in the nose 'she finished and he shook his head ' You know I like it when you get all authoritarian on me ' he said husky voice and she smiled wickedly with gleam in her eyes ' well. it's good to know ' before pulling him for a kiss .

….

The next day she woke up alone in bed and she regretted for a moment the secret relationship rule , Abbot called and they had a new case and she felt so excited to work again with the team .

She went to the crime scene and there was Cho in his usual poker face ' So no going back to washington ' and ' no marrying Pike ' she shook her head a ' No' to both .

Jane came after , he looked happy and light with bright eyes and she liked to think it was because of her and after Abbot briefed them she gave Jane a sided look ' That went ok ' she was proud of herself .

' Yeah that went very well , see you later ' he said and before walking away she could smell his spice colon again and smiled , ' what is that in your pocket ?' he said and she found the paper duck and looked back at him .Damn . her heart could explode of a happiness overdose but that was her life with Jane now and she could definitely get used to it .

 **The end .**

 **Thank u for reading and sorry for any mistakes .**


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